24 lessons in 24 years

1. Self-care is a bandaid, self-love is a cure.

You can take baths with wine, get massages, get fillers, whatever it is you do for your self-care. However, we must learn that in order to get to where we want to be with ourselves, we have to love ourselves unconditionally. Easier said than done, but self-love solves all ‘problems’ we have with ourselves. Accept yourself in your most raw and beautiful form. Plain and simple.

2. Accepting change is crucial for growth.

Accept change and surrender to whatever is meant for you. I find that most people have major troubles accepting change, since it’s uncomfortable and the unknown scares people, myself included sometimes. However, how many times have you actually looked back at the discomfort associated with change and were so happy everything unfolded the way they did? The universe, God, whatever you believe in, always has plans for you, and it’s important to seek comfort in the bigger picture! Growth of all sorts is difficult but necessary for progress.

3. It's never too late to make a change in your life.

I used to work at a community college where I was exposed to so much diversity. People of all walks of life came into the college in hopes of furthering their education and making a change in their lives. Whether it was an 18 year old fresh out of high school or that 55 year old man trying to get a degree or certification working to provide for his family, the main lesson here was simple; it’s never too late to make a change in your life.

4. Self comparison is actually a form of self sabotage.

How much time do we spend comparing ourselves to other people, our younger selves, etc.? I am guilty of this type of comparison, always thinking of ways I need to improve my body, skin, life. One day, I decided to stop self sabotaging and started by unfollowing people on social media who don’t benefit me and make me want to compare. We spend so much time critiquing ourselves and don’t give ourselves enough credit for how far we’ve come. It’s very obvious that we all have room for improvement, but obsessing and comparing does not solve that problem.

5. You can never Acquire enough knowledge.

Learning new knowledge is something that never goes out of style. My mom always told me that knowledge is something no one can ever take away from you. Read more books, take courses that interest you, listen to more podcasts, watch documentaries, all of it! It’s also what keeps life interesting, so keep learning and stay curious.

6. Not everyone deserves access to you.

When people say “protect your energy”, they mean stop giving everyone access to your sacred space. There are countless times that we learn how important it is to make sure the people we surround ourselves with are people who inspire you and challenge you to be a better version of yourself. Look for people who have the characteristics you require and can reciprocate or learn from. And remember, not everyone is deserving of the invitation into your life. It’s better to be in no company than bad company.

7. Authenticity attracts the right opportunities and people.

Staying true to who you are will drop dead weight in your life. Jobs, relationships, and overall life paths will begin to change when you make the choice to stay true to who you are and what you believe. It’s the simplest decision you could make for yourself, it’s impact is major in the long run.

8. Negative self talk is also a form of self sabotage.

The little voice inside my head is my biggest critic ever. This is the same voice that makes assumptions and plays with my emotions. When I am consciously watching these thoughts, they don’t consume me but instead give different perspectives. This changes, “you are such a mess” to “things are perfect just the way you are and you are constantly growing into the best you”. Also, if you are in need of a great book for this, look into “The Untethered Soul” by Michael Alan Singer.

9. The only thing that can actually heal you is yourself, everything else is a tool.

No amount of self-help books, therapists, yoga, or advice from loved ones will hold the same weight as it does when we ourselves make the conscious decision to heal. These tools are amazing when on your transformation journey but are essentially useless when you don’t make that decision. You are in control of healing your wounds, but this requires digging deep and battling the traumas that we often suppress.

10. Money will always come back to you.

So take that trip, buy those shoes you want, go to that festival, and go work your ass off to give yourself what you deserve again. Money will always return, memories and kind gestures do not.

11. Scarcity vS. Abundance Mindsets Change Everything.

I cannot begin to explain how important the topic of mindset is. We hear about it all the time on Instagram, where it’s turned in to some type of trend, but it’s for a good reason. Scarcity versus Abundance mindsets make a huge difference. The Hidden Brain podcast explains that scarcity brings forth a tunnel vision and eventually causes people to dig themselves deeper into the hole. The scarcity mindset creates the idea that everything is temporary-money, relationships, food, etc. This leads to overbuying things (hoarding), self-sabotaging, and depression. There are tons of websites with research on this topic, and one of the important thing to know is that the scarcity mindset is LEARNED. A few books on this topic are The Law of Attraction: The Basic of the Teachings of Abraham, Ask and It Is Given, and You Are a Badass at Making Money.

This is where the Law of Attraction comes into play, manifest what you want and master this even in your subconscious thoughts. Teach yourself to adopt the Abundance Mindset. Pay attention to your thoughts, learn some great affirmations, and get rid of the idea that you’ll never have more of something! Go from, “I don’t have enough money. I’ll never be able to afford that.” to “Money abundantly flows to me, and I can have whatever I desire!”. I can go on and on about this topic, but it truly is so important so I encourage you to do some research!

12. Spontaneity usually leads to the best memories.

This goes hand in hand with number 10. My best memories are usually spontaneous, last minute choices. The most recent one being driving up to Page and paddle boarding in Lake Powell with my two close friends. We all decided to take the trip and it was one for the books, not one single regret! Be spontaneous, say yes to what is good for you more often.

13. There's no right or wrong way to do things in life.

For numbers 3 and 4, we talked about self comparison and making changes. I have learned that everyone is on a different journey, so no two lives are the same. When we compare our lives to others, we forget that simple fact. There is no rulebook that says when we’re supposed to get our degrees, travel, get married, etc. The truth is, life will be a different experience for everyone. We will all learn about different passions we have at different times. We’ll graduate at different times. We’ll have kids and get married at different times. There’s no right way to live life.

14. People you surround yourself with should not disturb your peace.

Beware of energy vampires! I’ve been around people who literally drain my energy and make me feel uncomfortable. This could be someone who is a pessimist, always has drama, overly critical, narcissistic, etc. No person is worth being around if they disturb your peace. Get you some new company.

15. Not everyone Should know your business because not everyone wants the best for you.

This might have been the hardest lesson to learn, simply because I’m an empathetic person. I’m everyone’s go-to for advice and support. This led me to believe that others are the same way. People only ask about your business to be nosy, not because they actually care. This happened a lot in the workplace and with acquaintances. A lot of the time, you’ll learn people never had any interest in your well being at all. The lesson here was to stop talking so much.

16. Nature is good for the soul.

I am at my best when in nature. On the beach, in the woods, near the waterfalls and mountains, this is when I’m the most content. I’ve made it a habit to spend more time near the trees and running water because it brings peace and clarity. Nature is literally a breath of fresh air, get your dose more often.

17. Everything you dream of is literally on the other side of your fears and self doubt.

Will Smith said it best in his video about skydiving (please watch it here if you haven’t already). How many of our life changing moments are on the other side of our fears? We spend so much time contemplating the things we want but sit in fear and doubt instead of manifest in peace. Deep down, we all know we are more than deserving of what we dream of, so why not be patient and open to receive it?

18. Yoga is not just for flexible, advanced hippies. It is for every body.

This might sound silly but before I got back into yoga, I was actually intimidated. Especially with it being hot yoga, I was unsure that I was going to be able to hang through the whole class. My studio has mirrors all over and it’s one of the hottest and most humid studios in Phoenix. I had a million things going through my head, but the truth is, everyone is focused on their own practice! All of the teachers and other students were so kind and helpful, and mainly mind their own business. I quickly learned that it’s for every body (literally). We even have teens and older adults, both men and women, who are regulars!

19. The universe is always in constant communication with you, just waiting for you to pay attention.

Whatever way we accept the communication, it’ll come. People talk about it coming through dreams, angel numbers, their religion, or even random conversations. A popular way to receive the messages is through meditation. If you listen, you’ll get your answers.

20. Soulmates are not just romantic partners, most have more than one.

One of my favorites. This is something I learned at a young age, and then truly grasped when I read Many Lives, Many Masters. It was originally thought that people only had one soulmate, which was usually thought of as your significant other. People eventually realized there are too many relationships with others that were deep and far too familiar. Many soulmates are there to teach you lessons and, based on that book, travel through many lifetimes with you but in different forms. They can be in the form of friends, teachers, therapists, or even siblings. Did someone come to mind?

21. The hard work you put in right now is for your future self, even if it feels like nothing is changing yet.

This one has always been tough. Some days I’m on a roll and feel super accomplished with what I’m doing, and others it feels like nothing is happening. But remember these growing pains are going to pay off eventually, hard work leads to rewards and outcomes you aim for eventually.

22. Balance is key to everything in my life.

Growing up, my mom sounded like a broken record telling me how I needed to learn to balance my life. She’d complain that I’d party and have too much leisure time, then forget to take care of other responsibilities, and the list goes on. I realized the importance when I took on a heavy workload working two jobs, while being a full-time college student. I was still trying to have time for travel and fun, friends, family, and myself. I became miserable! Now, balance is key to my sanity. Just the right amount of hustle and relaxation, social time and alone time. I recommend mastering life balance if you haven’t already.

23. People treat you how you allow yourself to be treated.

Treat people how you want to be treated, but also don’t let people treat you like shit. If you let people treat you poorly, they’ll continue to do so until something is said or done. You’re not a punching bag. You’re not just an option, only around for someone’s convenience. If there’s someone who comes to your mind when reading this, recognize your worth and put an end to their foul ass. Thank me later.

24. Investing in yourself is the best investment you can make.

Get to know your deepest traumas and desires, learn about what makes you, you. Whatever this may mean to you, whether it’s exercise, therapy, getting filler, or taking yourself on vacation, investing in yourself is something you’ll never regret. Invest in yourself to gain knowledge, strength, compassion, and whatever is important to you. To invest in yourself is to invest in your future.